speechless.. i don't have any words to you, friend.

last hour ago, my friend called me.
he told me that he just killed his baby.. his and his girlfriend's baby, their baby.
a very last day ago he asked me about money to do abortion (and i dont have an enough money)
i asked him to faced the problem that they made, but he told me that his girlfriend doesn't feel like that sound.
she prefer to lose the baby because she still thought about her future, herself future! the point is, she doesnt ready yet to be a mother.


"the baby is already died but then she lefts.. she lefts me."
his sound sounds hardly.
he's crying.
it heard weird to heard some guy is crying on the phone.
but i'm sorry, i thought it's really hurt to feel like his way.
he is basiclly a good person. and i can't imagine how could this happened with him. a nice guy who looked never touched a sin.
his girlfriend will marry a 'real-estate man' on Singapore. and she said that she doesnt want to living poor with a guy like him, a nice guy like my friend.


"Gw udah kayak dosa, bukan orang. gw pikir abis ini semuanya bakal balik ke yang lebih baik.. tapi dengan kayak gini.. gw ngerasa nyampah banget.. nggak ada yang bakal lebih baik kalo udah kayak gini. gw udah bunuh satu orang.. dan satu orang yang gw sayang ninggalin gw karena alesan tolol. udah nggak jelas banget gw nda.. kalo gw mati juga mo ditempatin dimana si gw ama Tuhan.."


He asked me to put this private things on my blog. because he wants her to read this, his ex-girlfriend.

notes :

"Aku nggak punya hak apa-apa buat melarang kamu sama kehidupan kamu yang baru. Tapi kalo kamu baca ini, please, aku cuma minta tolong.. ajarin aku. ajarin aku buat ngelupain semuanya. ngelupain pertemuan kita yang dulu, ngelupain perasaan sayang aku sama kamu, ngelupain kalo aku pernah buat anak sama kamu.. dan yang paling penting, ajarin aku buat ngelupain almarmhum anak kita. walaupun aku nggak pernah minta dia buat di tiadain, tapi aku disini nggak bisa lari dari status aku yang sebenarnya sudah menjadi ayah. dan aku nyari duit buat bunuh anakku sendiri.. dan setelah itu kamu pergi udah kayak player.. kayak bukan cewek.. kayak bukan perempuan yang pernah mengandung seorang anak atau malah.. kayak perempuan yang udah biasa buat bunuh orang.
aku cowok.. tapi nggak yang kayak kamu bilang, "Aku aja cewek bakal pasti bisa ngelupain semuanya.. apalagi kamu, cowok."
tapi nggak segampang yang kamu bilang. aku coba buat jadi orang jahat, tapi nggak bisa. aku udah kayak dihantui kamu dan dia, anak kita.
saat ini aku cuma butuh kabar dari kamu.
apa kamu baik-baik aja..
dan suamimu, apa dia baik sama kamu..
maaf ya, mbuul.. aku nggak bisa lupain kamu. kalo kamu bisa lupain aku, tolong ajarin aku.
"i evol you"



pribadi, saya kehilangan kata-kata deh ni mo ngomong apa..
tapi oke, gini aja intinya..
"If you thought that you're made something best or sin, just trust.. that God has his plans." madam-kintil.
dan mudah-mudahan anda nggak akan jadi gay dah gara2 cewek player gitu.. (orang sedih masih bisa dibercandain..)

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