What to do after a BREAKUP

Have you ever been in a very happy relationship that makes you feel it will lasts forever but suddenly it turns out to be the big bullshits and you (just like that) get dumped?

Like F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice." Unfortunately there are some people that should experienced the toxic love. It's like you're just giving out all the best of you to the wrong person. A person that you always catch when he/she is falling but that person won't be there when it's your turn to fall, kind like the selfish one, a cheater, or the one who never truly love you.
Well i'm actually not sure if everyone will or had already experienced that one shit, but one thing that i knew is if you already passed it, you're likely laugh about your friend that maybe right now is 'in-struggle' to find the way back to herself/himself. cause i knew that shit had already grown you up or 'built' the new you and change how you see things.
Or maybe you just knew exactly that at the end, everyone heals. cause you healed. so your friend will.

K enough for the wisely introduction, i know i know.
Now first thing that you have to do is sit on your couch or lay your head on bed (whatever make your body feels comfortable).... close your eyes...... and take a deep breath.
...... yes the world feels like falling apart, things that you used to do is spontaneously changing (especially if you're living together), every memories-good or bad is playing like a random playlist on iTunes. you kind of feel alone and angry and sad in a same time.... but that's good. cause you're a human. and what you feel right now is a heartbreak. It's written in Taylor Swift's song and Adele's.
so it's normal, you're normal. you feel what everyone else ever felt.

(the hardest bang)

Yes. you've got shot by an asshole. yes, the mthfckr is also robbed you and run away but NO stop making a move, do not chase-let the asshole fuck off cause it's useless you only make yourself getting worse cause you're bleeding right now. Goddamn you feel helpless you're panic-angry-and hurt at same time, you're whining and complaining with saying fuck this-fuck-that till you realize that it won't change the pain. you're keep bleeding anyway in a fucking heavy breathing.

So are you done feeling emotional?
Now let's take the ugly truth by open up the wound for one reason: to take-off the fucking bullet.

Yes. It's going to hurt you so bad and you will think like fuckkk God may hates you so much cause you have to deserved this shit. Feel it. It's okay to punch the pillow and scream and it's okay if you have to take a day off from your work to crying all day long in your bedroom. And it's okay after a couple of days you're still stalking over your ex that suddenly out of nowhere is uploaded a happy picture with someone else and you feel like 'fuck how could you be not fair and so mean to my feeling' then you start crying again.
I mean the point is if you want to take-off the fucking bullet you need to open the wound right? Do the things that make you see the truth; i know you hate it and you can't accept the fact that you have to get over it by yourself, but trust me, everyone is got better. so you will also get better. Cry. Out. Loud. or Louder. the babies are always crying when they're born. that's how the beginning of real life.

The bullet is out. the wound is clearly open. What you want to do next? 'i need to start a new relationship now'. not yet bitch, seriously relax and chill that is too soon, you only end up hurting yourself or another person feeling if you just think to 'bury it' anyway. i mean like what? you prefer to dying with a wound infection than face the pain in beginning and live healthy ever after? if you want to avoid the wound to getting worse you really have to left the wound alone for a moment. Love when you're ready not when you're lonely, remember? So what next? Block his number and every social media of him/her. if you still have a feeling to stalk, just do it. it's okay to still care but don't be offensive. silence speaks louder than any words. You need to cut off all the communication and don't ever make a space for your ex to 'linger'.

(the healing process)

Now, you need a lil help from people that you trust. Rubbed the goddamn open wound by using alcohol. Which means you need to be brave to share your thoughts and what you feel even that's ouch like for real, you may feel silly to can be emotional in front of them. but it's okay. it's really okay. people who truly care about you will help you to calm the shit that you feel. To be honest with yourself is a part of healing and dealing. Sometimes all you need is only a person who will be there for you even only for listening to your fucked up voices. They can be anyone, your mother, your brother, your best-friends, or even your dog. Don't be shame to show who you really are and what you really feel even the wound looks ugly and people be like 'ugh too bad for your life'.

I know, one of the hardest part of breakup is to leave all the things that you used to do together with your partner. Especially when you're not a type of people who get easily attached with someone. Loneliness (sometimes) sucks. but i ever wrote about the difference about people who being alone and people who feel lonely, right? I mean yes you can even feel lonely when you're actually not alone. Maybe that's why some people at party need alcohol to have fun and some other need a wifi-internet to just check-up the instagram feeds. Or even you're handsome boy who born from a very rich parents and you can always get whatever you want with beautiful friends and luxurious life that you're livin.... you still looking for a chill pill while your life is already chill. Or make a new jump to new business that more challenging you or even harm your comfort zone. See? No matter who you are and what you do, as a humans, you always do the distraction from the boredom of loneliness. It's the truth. You may ever heard that our ancestors on long time ago ever created a system that they believe on something that the sun is a God or the stars are the angels. They're alone and staring at the sky and believing about every move of stars and rain is giving a signs to them. It's actually not too different from us in this era. Hope is what keep us feel alive.

Sorry, where are we going right now? Yeah i mean the point is.. you may somehow feeling lost right now, but seriously life goes on. you need to get back to your own track to find yourself back so you can love yourself and bring back your own potential to make the best of you for YOU.
Let's start it by treat yourself first: have a massage at spa and blow your hair at salon, get a new cute dresses or cool stuffs, then buy your fav foods (i suggest you a pizza. and ice cream. with a vanilla and chocolate favour. purrfect.)

(the healing)

Here we are at week 3. You know the wound is already getting much better after you sew it by doing your old-new routines with friends or doing a very new routines that excited. You can even start talking and make fun about your past without feeling emotionally sad about it. You're doing good but the wound still remains as 'wet-scars' that still look ugly. that's fine well maybe kind of itchy but avoid it to fuck it up by rubbing it. Cause no. you're not ready to be cool to play the 'hi, good luck' with people who hurted you. things take time. you may hate the scar so much right now cause it looks ugly and to remembering how you suffer to heal the wound is giving you so much fucked up. So i guess no. you're not ready yet. Someday you will be at the moment where you can see a scar as a part of yourself that make you proud to can have it. a big lesson.

What to do next? What? you're not feeling your life is full-fill enough right now?
Plan a trip. Go to places that you've never been before. Ask your friend to come with you or be brave to go alone. Blended with a people there. Experience is a new knowledge and you will know that life has much more interesting things than stuck in a one moment. Nothing lasts forever. but memories... it's your choice to make your own records to play.

(the dealing)

You are at the moment where you no longer care, you no longer hate, you no longer give a damn curse to a person who hurt you, and if there are some people asking you about the scars like "what is that? what happened?" then you're just feel nothing like "nah, it's just a scars."
You do whatever you like to do like usual. And you can slowly open up with a new person that has a good intention with you. Even then.... when you're accidentally met your ex with his/her new partner at somewhere you can be like "Hi how are you!?"...

You don't think about revenge right? Of course you're not. cause you don't care you really really don't care anymore. That's a sign of letting go. You're like releasing the toxic in your body and soul. It such a good feeling, isn't it? to finally feel a fresh air.

Congratulation. You did it. And i knew you would, cause i could and everyone could.
You find yourself back and passed all the shits behind without any regrets.
Love yourself and share the cup of love to people who deserve it.
A lesson learned. You're doing great.

1 komentar:

  1. Hi there. Thanks a lot for this.
    You really inspire someone and this could be much help for those who need it.
    God bless you!